Manning up

I started to write this post about how I’d stepped up (or “manned up”) this week in coming clean with my therapist. And then I realised that I’d actually “manned up” in a few situations, so thought I’d give myself a big bloggy pat on the back. 🙂

  1. I finally came clean with my therapist. Funny, I had avoided this in the session after my post, and by the time the next session (or the one after) rolled around, I felt much more able to tackle it. So much so that I barely squirmed or cried or anything – just had a “normal” (at least “semi-normal”) discussion with her about it. I’ve waxed lyrical on the benefits of talking to one’s therapist so many times in the blogosphere. Seems that sometimes there’s benefit in waiting, and not blurting.
  2. I reported a guy at work for giving me a work nerd stick that contained p0rn0graphic material. It was gross and freaked me out … It came on the back of the bad trigger at work, so possibly I was more sensitive than I ordinarily would have been, but seriously people, pornography at work? Just. Not. Appropriate… EVER.
  3. I’ve been feeling lazy and lardy and awful lately. For months actually. And then my BFF online pointed out that I used to go to the gym regularly, and it seemed to help with all the body tension. She’s right. What she said triggered a massive “a-ha!” moment in my brain, so I went to check out a new gym after work yesterday. Spur of the moment appointment to check out the gym, and a spur of the moment decision to sign up. I felt really motivated while I was there, so I went again this morning. It really brought my focus back to my body, and made me aware of all the places I’m carrying a ridiculous amount of tension. Of course it also made me aware of how much condition I’ve lost, but I’m hoping this will ease as I get back into a fitness regime, and (hopefully) gain some of my fitness back. Thanks BFF! 🙂

I also bombed my therapist today (as in ‘last minute bomb’ or LMB – kinda love it when we get to throw them occasionally) – “Why do you always ask the hard questions at the very end?” she asked. Ha ha! I asked her about my intense fear of abandonment and can she talk to me more in “intellectual terms” about it. I’m desperate to understand it, though I do fear it’s a bit like therapy in this regard – that if I stop intellectualising and just go with it, I’ll start to get better. Of course, I’m not sure what the “it” is in this situation. I guess that will be top of the agenda for next week…

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6 thoughts on “Manning up

  1. Great job moving forward with those three things. I think it is interesting and respectful to yourself that you waited a week before talking to your therapist about how you are really feeling. I can see there are times when it is helpful to wait, and other times when one would have to get it out right away.

    I don’t know what a nerd stick is, but that guy sounds gross. So glad you reported him.

  2. Well done!! You deserve the pat on the back several times over…

    At work the students often leave their nerd sticks in the computers, and so they get handed into us. As part of our procedure to return them to the student, we check them, and in the process find all sorts of “interesting” things. Why do people think that’s acceptable? Defies reason. Good on you for reporting him.

    LMB keep our T’s on their toes 🙂

    Take care,
    CG

  3. Goodness me, I thought I had responded to these lovely comments. My apologies.

    @ Harriet – funny how I always thought the blurting was better than the waiting. But you’re right – sometimes it’s better to do the internal check and only talk when we’re truly ready.

    @ Bird – thanks! 🙂

    @ Castorgirl – thanks hun. I can’t believe people think putting nasty stuff on their nerd sticks is acceptable. WTH is wrong with them?? I hope you throw those sticks away! As for the LMB, I got a bit of a “lecture” today about why people do that – well, not a lecture, although it felt like it. I’ve been super sensitive to the WT’s moods lately – everyone’s moods really. Just rubbing off in the wrong ways, may be.

  4. Kerro – how are you? I haven’t seen a blog post in a while, not that you have to write one, I just wonder about people when I don’t “see” them for a while.

  5. Hi Harriet – I’m so sorry, every day I write a couple of blog posts in my head, and respond to your comment. And yet every day I run out of time 😦 Thanks so much for looking out for me. I hope to be able to blog properly very soon.

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