My father died today. Finally, after many posts wondering if it was time, today was the day.
The nursing home rang early this morning (6.20am to be precise. On a Sunday. Grrr.) and said he wasn’t well and I “should” visit. Even with the DNR in place they rang to see what they should do. Idiots.
I’m feeling fine. Mostly I’m relieved, but there’s a part of me who’s sad-ish – mostly because I don’t care, and because I never had a decent father. I’m sure that over time this will bring up a whole lot of stuff, so I’m trying to just go with whatever I’m feeling and whatever’s happening.
The thing I’m finding most difficult right now is the charade. People saying “I’m so sorry for your loss” and me thinking “yea. right.”