It’s a funny thing

It’s a funny thing, therapy – when you think about it.

If you’d gone in that first time and the therapist had told you that she (or he) was going to root around in your past, meddle with your present, and probe the darkest recesses of your brain, would you have gone back?

If she’d told you that life would get harder before it got easier, would you have made another appointment?

Or if she’d told you that even once you started getting better, you’d have to deal with yucky things like emotions, would you have stayed one more minute?

Yea, me either. But it’s worth it.


8 thoughts on “It’s a funny thing

  1. My therapist did tell me all that on my first visit. I went back anyway, figuring it was a lot like chemo for cancer. The side effects would be horrible, but the other option was death.

    My therapist laughed when I told her this, right before I quit therapy, but then she was also a little sad that it hadn’t ever stopped being like chemo, as far as I was concerned. It was, however, very worthwhile despite the unhappy aptness of the analogy.

  2. I can relate to what David experienced. For me I knew it would be worse, or at least feel a lot worse, but once I knew I needed help and why and what to do about it, I was in such a bad space anything was better than dealing with it all alone. For me emotions always were a big part of my life and I couldn’t imagine shutting them all down, it was not something I could have ever done to myself. So knowing the emotions would be worse was okay with me, because I definitely knew it would keep getting better, even if it didn’t feel better, and I was able to endure the bad stuff for as long as it took. I don’t meet a lot of people who feel as I have. But I also have therapy breaks where I work on healing without a therapist. I think that lots of others would feel exactly as you do. I don’t think I am normal in this.

    So glad you have a great therapist.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.


  3. @ David and Kate – that’s amazing. My therapist didn’t let on at all about what I might experience, but of course, if she had, I would have run for the hills 😉

    @ Paul – I’m with you 🙂

  4. That was one savvy therapist. She knew just what to do. So glad that she did the right thing and you didn’t have a good reason to run. Good and healing thoughts to you.


  5. Well I approached therapy as this thing that probably needed to be done – like David, the alternative was death. I had very clear expectations, and they were that the whole issue was to be resolved by Christmas (I started seeing a therapist in October). I had no real concept of what an emotion was, so any warnings would have fallen on uninformed ears… but if told, I would of gone, “ok fine, bring it”. Emotions would have just been another thing to analyse and dissect. I probably had about six months of therapy before I realised what an emotion was; six years later, I’m still struggling to label them correctly.

    So all the warnings in the world wouldn’t have mattered… well it might have caused a suicide, as part of the system decided to hit self-destruct, rather than allow anyone to look too closely at the past. Probably just as well I wasn’t warned.

    Thing is, we know most of it now, yet we go back if it’s helping. At times I wish I’d never opened Pandora’s box, other times I’m so grateful for the validation and healing.

    Take care,

  6. CG – I feel like a bit of a doofus reading your comments (and the others). I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. How could I not have known (a) that I needed therapy, and (b) what it would hold? Was I really that trapped in my own little (self-created) prison? Wow.

    I also thought this would be a quick thing. I thought I’d go “once or twice” and it would all be good. Two and half years later… LOL

    As for those emotions, naming them is definitely over rated 😉

  7. Hi Kerro,

    I can relate to the short-term myth. I didn’t believe in it, but it was going around a lot amoung survivors the first few years I was in therapy. I think they covered that in some part of “the courage to heal.”

    I met so many survivors who told me that when they started therapy they thought they would be done in six months. The second therapist I saw told me at month five that she thought I should be done at month six. I started looking for someone else. The six month myth is a myth that survivors need, but for a therapist to engage in that kind of magical thinking when she supposedly worked with child sexual abuse survivors, well it was totally beyond healing.

    I just wanted to say that so many of us believe the things we need to believe in so that we can get through what we need to get through. There are lots of myths I have engaged in validating to get through, and most of them I don’t even admit to others that I engaged in them. It is so brave of you to share what you have gone through. Thank you for being so brave.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.


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