Life’s little surprises

You never know what life is going to throw at you. We discovered late last week that my mother has cancer. Not good news, though it may still be treatable, there’s still tests and appointments and specialists to see.

For all her faults – and her complete and utter inability to meet any emotional need I may ever have had – she’s still my Mum. I don’t want to lose her, not yet, and I certainly don’t want her to have to endure all those hideous tests, procedures, appointments, etc… just awful.

If there is a silver lining in this cloud it’s that my mother now realises she will be unable to care for my father, so he needs to go into care. Stressful? Probably, though not if I don’t think about it too much. I just need to focus on the practicalities at the moment.

Fingers crossed, peeps, please.

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19 thoughts on “Life’s little surprises

  1. I’m amazed and impressed that you are able to see that small bit of silver lining in such a big cloud. Please keep us posted. I’ll be thinking of you and your mom. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Schedule it deliberately, if you need to — it’s very easy to get really worn down by just the practicalities … there are so many of them in these situations.

  2. I am crossing fingers for your mum. And for you. I often worry that my mother will pass before we can ever come to any form of understanding between us. My dad was in a nursing home for nearly 15 years. He didn’t want to be there, tho, he had a lot of friends there. I believe he was happy, but in a different way than being at home with mom.

  3. @ Everyone – thanks so much for your positive thoughts and good wishes/prayers.

    @ David – you’re right, that silver lining is an important one for me. Getting my father into care is something I’ve been trying to get my mother to do for a couple of years, and now there’s no option. The Wonder Therapist said at least I will be clear about what needs to be done and not waiver as my mother has. Too right. That old b****** can rot in hell as far as I’m concerned. Just get him a bed somewhere so I don’t have to think about him. Funnily, another friend said, “yea, find out which nursing homes are dodgy and send him there!” LOL Having spent most of yesterday sleeping I now realise that “me” time has to be a priority for me as well.

    @ Ivory – hush your mouth, GF! I cannot imagine being encumbered by the father for another 15 years of my life. Ugh.

  4. Hi Kerro,

    I’m so sorry, especially because it will be you who has to deal with it all. Just the emotional aspects can be huge. I recall. My mother, a sex offender, was diagnosed with cancer 12 years ago and her older sister a year after that. At least I had time to develop a relationship with my auntie in the short time she had left. It was bittersweet and lovely. Another friend told me today her mother was recently diagnosed as well.

    I will be thinking of you both and sending you good and healing thoughts to yous.

    Kate

  5. Wishing you strength and balance during this difficult time Kerr, continue to take care of yourself. Sending hopeful, healing thoughts to your Mum….not so charitable ones to your dad (perhaps this move for him will be therapeutic for you and her?)

  6. @ Kate – thank you. And yes, this is one of those times when I regret that I am an only child, though I am sure my therapist would say something about those with siblings arguing and bickering at times like this.

    @ Phoenix – LOL, you always make me laugh with your not-so-charitable thoughts. I love your honesty!! 🙂

  7. Sending many blessings your way. You may know already my mother had cancer. You are right, despite all the emotional issues between you, you are still mother and daughter. I understand, and I will being praying for you all.
    Lothlorien

  8. Our thoughts are with you and your Mum also. Hopefully, the stress that would be relieved if your father were in a nursing home will be very healing for her (not to mention for both of you!) and will help her to fight this. (((hugs)))

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