“Healing is about living”

Paul over at Mind Parts wrote this in his recent post reflecting on 2010. He says:

“Healing is really about living. It is not all about therapy. The work we have done has helped me live more of the life I want to live.”

I was struck by this when I read it. It seemed to capture the essence of my journey into therapy, and my healing so far.

For the longest time before I entered therapy, I felt like something was holding me back – like this quote from Alfred D’Souza:

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first…”

I first got the idea of therapy from a colleague, who suffered from anxiety and saw a therapist. I saw her grow in countless ways. I thought may be therapy could help me, too.

And then I changed jobs and put it all out of my mind… until things started spiralling out of control in my own life.

When I entered therapy I didn’t even know there was “healing” to be done. I just knew I was becoming unhinged and I didn’t know a way out. I was stuck, with day to day stuff, let alone the life stuff. And then the Wonder Therapist – who always knew there was something to heal – poked around and I too learned there was more to be done than just getting “unstuck”.

At times I forget that “healing is really about living”, but it is. It’s about losing the barriers and obstacles, so that I can live the life I want to live – removing the “walls” I showed in my entry for Expressive Arts Carnival No 5.  Paul’s right, it’s not just about the therapy, though this is an important element for me – in my healing, and in guiding me to the life I want; the life that’s been inside me for always, but trapped by all the heinousness of the past.

Thanks, Paul, for the reminder. I’ll treasure it.


14 thoughts on ““Healing is about living”

  1. It’s so true, isn’t it? It’s this year that I’ve been able to see the results, or the two connecting within my brain. A big part of therapy, is realising that you deserve to have a life, that it’s possible, even desirable… So often, that all gets lost in the abuse and dysfunction.

    Paul’s a smart person…

    You’re doing good things with taking control and living your life Kerro… really good things.

    Take care,

  2. I was really struck by this comment of Paul’s too.

    Taking the steps to starting healing can sometimes be the hardest, you have done so well to find help, to recognise that you need to heal. You should be proud of that.

    Take gentle care of yourself

  3. @ Castorgirl – Oh my goodness, that’s so true. It’s taken me such a long time to realise that I really do deserve a life, and that life can be good – desirable, even. Not only that, but I can create the type of life I want – not just have something I feel is forced upon me to endure. Thanks so much for all your support, I don’t know where I’d be without you. 🙂

    @ Ivory – I’m glad you’re enjoying these first posts. I am too – for me, the new year is such a good time to reflect, both on the year that’s past and the coming year, and all that I want to achieve.

    @ Kylie – thanks for stopping by. I am glad I found help – good help, to assist with the healing. It’s a long hard road, but one we’re all working hard on. I know you are, too.

  4. When I’ve read the headline of this post (without the following explanation), the first thought running through my mind was “Healing is the foundation for living”. This fits better for me, because only since I was in therapy and have learned so much, I could fight me free.
    I love the sentence that we all deserve to have a life and that we are even able to create the life we want. That’s so true and important.
    You’ve achieved so many in the past year Kerro. This is great!

    All the best for 2011

  5. Healing really is all about living. Living…that is the goal here. Not just making it through another day (although in some seasons of the healing journey, that does have to be the focus) but really living. Having joy and hope and laughter and yes, even tears-but knowing how to handle those tears and keep going forward.

    I love your art piece. Opening up those windows is brave!

  6. Gee… If I didn’t have my head on straight, it could get quite big!

    This whole concept was opened up to me when in the 2nd Oprah 200 men show, one man (I think it was Oprah’s producer) made a comment about moving from coping to healing. Then I remembered Marj’s blog title “From Survivor to Thriver”.

    I think if you frame therapy as about living a better life, it gives something to hang your hat on. Something to give you hope for.

  7. @ Lost Shadow Child – that’s so true, too. Without healing, I can’t have the life I want to have, so yes, it works both ways. I’m glad that you’re healing, and can create the life you deserve, LSC. I hope 2011 is a great year for you, too.

    @ Tracie – thanks for stopping by. I’ve done “making it through another day” more often than I care to count. I know I’ll probably have to do that again, but in between I can now focus on building a life; a real life. 🙂

    @ Paul – LOL re your head! I read the “from victim to survivor to thriver” statement in a book sometime ago. It really struck me, too. I’m past victim… and hope I’m somewhere between “surviving” and “thriving”.

    @ Castorgirl – you need some double rainbows to go with that voice!! LOL 😉

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