Yea, it’s that time of year again. Sigh. I know this is a hard time for many of us. A couple of weeks ago I drove past a shop selling Christmas trees and burst into tears. Sigh.
It hasn’t all been bad, though. I’ve been trying to get through, almost pretend this silly season doesn’t exist. Not expect anything (certainly nothing on the family front); not do too much; and just maintain my sanity.
Therapydoc posted on this recently. It’s a great post. She mentions the “countdown” that I go through every year. First it’s seven days to go, six days to go… and once Christmas arrives it becomes 24 hours to go, 23 hours to go … until it’s all over.
She also offers a “prescription” of sorts, which in a way makes clinical the things I’ve been trying to do:
a) plan as little as possible, wing it – yep, doing that. Not rushing around trying to catch up with people. Enjoying the few gatherings I have with friends and colleagues, but otherwise resting and taking care (discovered this week that my iron and B12 levels are something less than what they should be, so rest is coming pretty easy at the moment.)
b) label dysfunctional patterns, but don’t argue; discuss – this one will be a challenge, but I’m hoping I can keep the “bubble” around me when I’m with family. Let them play their games, behave badly… and, if there is a god, let me not engage in it.
c) have an escape plan – sorted. I have taken control of my time with family this year, and reduced it by a day. I will arrive later than normal, and leave earlier. That mightn’t sound like much, but it’s a big step for me, and I’m hoping will go some way to making a difference. And if it doesn’t, I have walks on the beach. 🙂
d) expect little – yep, expecting nothing this year. Absolutely nothing.
e) accept a lot – this is a new one for me. I guess, if by some miracle, my family behaves like anything approximating “normal”, yes, I’ll try to accept it and enjoy it.
f) and when the catastrophic expectations materialize, laugh about them – hmm, not sure about this one. I guess I can try to stand back and laugh at how dysfunctional it all is, and be thankful that I’m not around that level of dysfunction more often.
To all my readers, I hope this season of silliness isn’t taking too much of a toll on you. That you are finding time to rest and take gentle care. ((hugs)) and good wishes to you all.