I’m home

I’m home. I got home a few days ago from my wonderful holiday in paradise. I ended up extending my stay for a few days because I was having so much fun and didn’t feel ready to come home. I still don’t feel quite ready to be home, but I’m doing ok.

I experienced something truly rare on my holiday. I think I felt happiness. At first I didn’t know what it was – kind of like a drug induced high, but without the drugs. Then I realised, I felt … H A P P Y. Truly content. 🙂

Who wouldn’t feel content lolling about on this beach, or frolicking in this pool? It was just like the brochures promised. It was truly divine, absolutely perfect even, and I’m looking forward to going back there again.

I came home ready to start my new job tomorrow, and had I not seen my parents I would have felt completely ready to tackle just about anything.

It was the father’s birthday this weekend, as well as father’s day, which of course meant engaging in the whole charade. I did pretty well, if I do say so myself. I was almost euphoric when I got up yesterday morning, even as I drove to the parents’ house, though once I arrived, and as the hours wore on, I could feel every ounce of that euphoria draining away. 😦

Seriously, they could suck the life out of anything those people. It’s a cess pit of negativity and criticism. In what’s possibly a first, I was able to observe their toxic behaviour and just let it sit there; not take it on or try to deal with it or anything. I came away feeling like I needed another holiday, but a bit of loud music in the car (and bad singing on my part) helped rejuvenate me somewhat. They can keep their toxicity.

I know I’m behind with my blogging, and reading of blogs, I will try to catch up. It might take me a while, though, as I start the new job this week, and I’m reconsidering a few other things in my life.


12 thoughts on “I’m home

  1. “They can keep their toxicity.”

    Awesome, awesome, awesome! You’re right; it is theirs, not yours.

    I’ll be thinking of you as you start your new job, and I’m so glad you had a wonderful time on your vacation!! You so deserve that happiness. 🙂

    Hugs to you!

  2. Welcome back! What beautiful photos, just amazing. I’m sorry you had to come home to a cess pit of negativity though 😦

    Hope your first day of the new job goes well too, let us know!

  3. So glad you had a good time… good on you for extending your stay!!

    Good job on realising where the negativity lay.

    Hope the first day went well.
    Take care,

  4. Thanks everyone.

    Tamp, funny you talk about “deserving happiness” – the Wonder Therapist said that it’s great to see me happy, and “believing that I deserve to be”. 🙂

    Day 1 in the new job was great, I really enjoyed it. I’m hoping it’s a sign of things to come. 🙂

  5. I’m so glad you’ve had such a good time and even rediscovered the feeling of happiness 🙂
    First day in a new job is the most difficult. When this day went well I’m pretty sure you enjoy the new work in the future 😉

  6. @ Sanity – thank you 🙂

    @ Lost Shadow Child – thank you, too. I’m liking the new job more and more, so I hope you’re right. 🙂

  7. Great, on so many levels. Great vacation, great! So glad for you. Happiness, that is so great. I’m so happy for you. Great on sitting outside all the dysfunction and not taking it inside yourself, and noting that it still robbed you. Great on getting yourself back into a better mood on the way home. You are doing great.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.


  8. hi kerro~ welcome back! i’m so glad you had such a wonderful time. sounds fantastic and so deserved~~

    and wow, about you and your folks! i’m so glad you were able to get out of there and not feel that your vacation had been spoiled. and your statement about them keeping their toxicity is superb! it’s what i’ve been striving for within myself. most of the time i feel very spongelike and feel helpless but to absorb the negativity of anyone around me. my hope is that in time i just get better and better at having ego boundaries, and can go along in my own peace, regardless of what i’m surrounded by.

    wishing you well!!! 🙂

  9. I bet you sounded awesome singing in that car! I know I feel like a rock star when I do that…knowing full well I totally suck…but who cares! Remember the parent thing is temporary and not something you need to take on. Your boundaries are growing stronger and you are continuing to grow in that regard…I am very happy for you.

    Can’t wait to see more pic’s…pls send me details on that resort…I think I need to get over there!
    Welcome back…and best wishes on your new job!

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