I’m here. I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I have half-a-dozen or more half-written posts, but none have made it to the finishing line. This week has been pretty big; pretty stressful, and I’ve been trying to take care of myself emotionally and just focus on what I needed to focus on.
Good news is I got that job I applied for! 🙂 I’m sooooo excited (though also scared). Of course, there’s been lots of to-ing and fro-ing negotiating things and I have barely slept a wink all week worrying about the negotiations, the resignation from my current job, whether or not I’m doing the right thing, taking a holiday, etc etc.
I’m excited because it means I’m leaving the job I’m in now. I used to love my job but for the last year or so it’s just been killing me. I can’t help think therapy has something to do with this. The things at work that used to motivate me no longer do. That saddens me in a way, but I’m learning to accept it.
I’m also worried that this loss of motivation isn’t anything to do with my current environment at all, but some intrinsic void. What if it is? What if I don’t like the new job? What if I can’t operate outside my current environment (where I’ve been for a looooooong time)?
Of course, as a friend said to me: “Well, even if you hate it, it will take you some time to figure that out. It’s a choice between something new for a couple of years, or staying where you are for a couple of years. That sounds like a no brainer to me.”
She’s right. It is a no brainer. If I stay where I am I’m going to shrivel up and die. I’m pretty shrivelled already! Of course I’m excited about the new job, and the work that the organisation does, and working with new people, and a whole lot of things. I’m daunted about a whole lot of things, too, but I’m trying not to get too hung up on them. I have seven working days of my current job left (woohoo!!) and then a nice little holiday to look forward to. 🙂
I was talking to my therapist about the new job, or the possibility of the new job, before the offer came through:
The Wonder Therapist: “Will you take the job, if they offer it to you?”
Me: “I think so. I can’t see any good reason not to, and I’m dying where I am.”
The Wonder Therapist: “Why aren’t you sure? What will you miss where you are?”
Me: “Well, things like being 15 minutes from home and working in the gardens. But they’re not good reasons to knock back the job.”
The Wonder Therapist: “I’m glad you said that. If you’d said you’d knock back the job because of an extra bit of travel I’d say ‘do you want a pony with that?’ – meaning that sounds a bit spoiled.”
Me: Laughing hysterically.
I’m still laughing hysterically writing about that conversation. The Wonder Therapist cracks me up sometimes.