On work and ponies

I’m here. I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I have half-a-dozen or more half-written posts, but none have made it to the finishing line. This week has been pretty big; pretty stressful, and I’ve been trying to take care of myself emotionally and just focus on what I needed to focus on.

Good news is I got that job I applied for! 🙂 I’m sooooo excited (though also scared). Of course, there’s been lots of to-ing and fro-ing negotiating things and I have barely slept a wink all week worrying about the negotiations, the resignation from my current job, whether or not I’m doing the right thing, taking a holiday, etc etc.

I’m excited because it means I’m leaving the job I’m in now. I used to love my job but for the last year or so it’s just been killing me. I can’t help think therapy has something to do with this. The things at work that used to motivate me no longer do. That saddens me in a way, but I’m learning to accept it.

I’m also worried that this loss of motivation isn’t anything to do with my current environment at all, but some intrinsic void. What if it is? What if I don’t like the new job? What if I can’t operate outside my current environment (where I’ve been for a looooooong time)?

Of course, as a friend said to me: “Well, even if you hate it, it will take you some time to figure that out. It’s a choice between something new for a couple of years, or staying where you are for a couple of years. That sounds like a no brainer to me.”

She’s right. It is a no brainer. If I stay where I am I’m going to shrivel up and die. I’m pretty shrivelled already! Of course I’m excited about the new job, and the work that the organisation does, and working with new people, and a whole lot of things. I’m daunted about a whole lot of things, too, but I’m trying not to get too hung up on them. I have seven working days of my current job left (woohoo!!) and then a nice little holiday to look forward to. 🙂

I was talking to my therapist about the new job, or the possibility of the new job, before the offer came through:

The Wonder Therapist: “Will you take the job, if they offer it to you?”

Me: “I think so. I can’t see any good reason not to, and I’m dying where I am.”

The Wonder Therapist: “Why aren’t you sure? What will you miss where you are?”

Me: “Well, things like being 15 minutes from home and working in the gardens. But they’re not good reasons to knock back the job.”

The Wonder Therapist: “I’m glad you said that. If you’d said you’d knock back the job because of an extra bit of travel I’d say ‘do you want a pony with that?’ – meaning that sounds a bit spoiled.”

Me: Laughing hysterically.

I’m still laughing hysterically writing about that conversation. The Wonder Therapist cracks me up sometimes.


7 thoughts on “On work and ponies

  1. Congratulations on the job! Yay! You can be excited and worried and scared at the same time, and great to have a holiday between the jobs. Do you have plans to go somewhere?

    And let me tell you, as a horse owner, ponies aren’t all they are cracked up to be.

  2. Hi kerro 🙂 congrats on the job! New job beginnings are tough for me too. I get excited, but I also feel like I’m five and heading to my first day of school all over again. But it gets easier, you just need that time for it to become a “known” environment. I hope it turns out to be a great job! But no matter what the job is, I hope you are able to feel proud of yourself just for having done this. Millions of people feel miserable and helpless about their jobs and never face their fear and try to remedy their situation. You’ve been brave and taken the chance to enact change in your life and that alone is huge! It’s an honor to know you 🙂 sorry for all the mush. Sending hugs and love and all my best wishes that this job is a good experience.
    Oh and that pony remark – hilarious! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. @ Harriet – thanks! Yes, I’m going away to a tropical island where there is sun, water and cocktails!! I’ll post more about that later. Thanks also for your advice about ponies. Ideally I’d get a pony with this job, but hey, we can’t have everything.

    @ Katie – Thanks! It’s funny you use the word “known” – that’s exactly what I said to my therapist. I’ve been in my current industry for a long time – I “know” it; it’s my turf, so to speak. I walk down the street and always see someone I know. It’ll be hard to start again – and hard to work out in the ‘burbs where there’s barely a street to walk on, let alone know anyone there. I think I’m proud for doing this, though like always, I tend to dismiss the good things with just a “oh well, that’s good, what’s next?” Thanks for the mush. LOL. Mush is good sometimes 🙂

    @ David – you are too funny! As I said to Harriet, ideally there’d be a pony, but I’ll get used to life without one. LOL

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