I just wanted to say thank you for all your messages of love and support since yesterday. Ordinarily I’d write you individual replies in the comments, but I’m just not up to that right now, I’m sorry. I do appreciate you all though.
I have cried so much I look like I have black eyes, my nose is raw and I have used an entire box of tissues.
I’m still gutted. I feel raw, fragile and numb all at the same time if that is possible.
The Wonder Therapist, bless her, has offered to see me tonight (Sunday), because she knows how upset I am. She probably also knows how things like this are a fast track to self-loathing for me.
This has brought up all those old feelings of wanting to hurt myself, and worse. It doesn’t matter. Don’t say that it does, because it doesn’t. For all her “wonders”, the Wonder Therapist was wrong about one thing. It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter. I was a fool to think I did, or that I could have a relationship and family like any “normal” person.
In other news, one of my other Polyvore collages won 3rd place in a competition about isolation. Great (said with all the sarcasm in the world, because I really couldn’t care less right now).