Week five of group last night. So far we’ve covered topics on disclosure, loss (of multiple things), trust (of self and of others) and, this week: relationships (family, friends, colleagues, partners).
I confessed to Back Up Therapist that I was pretty non-plussed about the relationship discussion, meaning I thought I could handle it.
Back Up Therapist said: “You know, that’s fantastic. When you first talked about the Group you were terrified of it. Now you’re saying you can deal with what will probably be a pretty tough topic. That’s great!”
Me: “Yea, I guess.”
Back Up Therapist: “No, it is great. And you’ve got something positive out of every session.”
Me: “Yea, I have. It’s been good. It’s a good group.”
Back Up Therapist: “You know, you have to take some credit for it being good. You’re helping make it good.”
Me: Staring blankly, not knowing what to say.
Back Up Therapist: “You have. You have helped made it a good space – for you and for the others. It’s not just because of the group leaders, or the other people, it’s also because of you.”
Me: Still staring blankly, still confused.
Anyway, that isn’t the point of this post. I guess I’ll think about that one coz I’m still confused.
Anyway, this week we talked about relationships – what makes a relationship “unhealthy” and what makes it “healthy”. We all seemed to know a lot about unhealthy relationships… much less about healthy ones, at least from our own experiences.
In the course of the Group it came to light that the Pregnant One and I have both worked for a certain child welfare organisation here.
This sent the Unstable One into a panic: “I can’t believe I didn’t know this. I’ve been sitting in this room with you two for weeks and didn’t know. I can’t do this anymore.”
And out she went, clearly very distressed, glaring at the Pregnant One and me like we were the devil incarnate. One of the group leaders went off to talk to her, leaving us to talk amongst ourselves for a while (the other group leader was already out talking to the Creative One who’d had some bad stuff happen during the day and was clearly upset about it.) Good start.
This created a lot of tension. The Pregnant One and I both felt like evil-doers (even though my rational brain knows we’re not). For a while I even thought that I should leave. The Unstable One eventually came back into the room, but for the rest of the night she wouldn’t talk to either of us; wouldn’t even look at us. When I said “good night” to her she just glared at me.
I’m still puzzled and confused. I’m swinging between feeling guilty that my work history, my former employer is so upsetting for her… and knowing that this really has nothing to do with me. I’m not sure what to do about it, if anything, or if there’s any way to resolve it. I don’t want the tensions to mess up the rest of our time in the Group.
Anyway, I just realised this is fairly boring blog post. Sorry about that, I just needed to clear my head of what happened last night.