So, it’s Easter weekend and I’m at my FOO’s. You all know how that story goes, so I won’t bang on.
One thing struck me this morning, though: I feel like I am two people. There are all these things I’ve been working on at home, and with the Wonder Therapist, which have completely evaporated now that I’m with my FOO. And I mean COMPLETELY.
It feels weird. It’s like there’s this one “me” who has a sort-of life and who wants some other things in life. That person goes to therapy and tries to work on these things.
But since arriving at my FOO’s I’ve forgotten those things; they’ve all but disappeared. People, places, things that no longer seem real. Almost like a distant memory of something you’re not quite sure even existed in the first place. But they did exist, because one of these people popped up on my phone… I had to shake my head a little to remind me who it was and what they were doing there.
Is this how things have been all my life, just that I didn’t notice?
Have I always just turned myself “off” around my FOO so that I could play the games that need to be played?
Is this just another part of being a “survivor”?