That’s me. That’s how I feel today. Like a bug on a windscreen.
I’ve been challenging myself, and while I’m not ready to disclose details here, I will say that at the first hint of failure, the first whiff of rejection, my inner critic is back in overdrive.
“See? I was right all along. You can’t have faith in yourself because there’s nothing to have faith in. No one would want to be with you because you’re a stupid, ugly, useless troll. I knew it all along – why didn’t you listen to me? What an idiot you were to believe the Wonder Therapist – ha! Now the whole world is laughing at you – what a fool!
You were wrong to open up and think that life could be different. You should have stayed in your icy shell. At least we did well there and you didn’t pussy foot about with all this garbage about ‘happiness’. Get a grip on yourself.”
I wish I had the strength some others have to move on, or to love and care for myself during setbacks like this. But I don’t. The inner critic is racing through the desert in a frenzy of negativity and I am the bug on the windscreen.
For something useful to read on this topic – try Dr Kathleen Young.