Having set myself some homework in my last post, I duly completed the task. Going public with this was clearly the kick in the a$$ that I needed: I am nothing if not reliable and conscientious – to the point of being nauseating.
You’ll recall that the book I was reading has five domains in which to assess your satisfaction with life, and your balance in the different domains. It gives you multiple questions and then a score out of 50 for each domain. It says a score above 40 means that area of life is probably working pretty well for you. Anything less than 30 warrants some attention pretty fast. Here are my scores:
Social Support: 13/50
So much for anything above 40, eh? So much for the balance that those of us born under a certain sign crave, eh?
Sure, I know little quizzes like this are limited in their utility. The point for me is not the score itself, but what this represents in terms of my satisfaction with these parts of my life. For me this was a nice way to crystallise things I already knew but hadn’t necessarily been able to articulate.
I think what this says is that I’m doing a pretty good job of stimulating my mind. Between work and play, and therapy of course, my mind is reasonably stimulated. It also says there are elements of my work that are satisfying me. That’s true, though after a recent series of posts, we all know which things need to change there!
The areas I obviously need to focus on are:
- leisure, and
- social support.
I knew this, though I couldn’t necessarily have named it this way.
As I said last time, getting more balance is another matter. I’m not really sure where to start. Perhaps health is an obvious one given I’m now afflicted with a chest infection and popping antibiotics and cortisone like Tic Tacs. Perhaps when the doctor says “rest” she means I shouldn’t sit up half the night writing blog posts or playing stoopid farm games on social networking sites? LOL
My therapist thinks getting more balance is merely a matter of identifying things I’d like to do, and then booking a slot in a course, or whatever, but there’s more to it than that for me.
I know there are some things I’d like to do – exercise more, for one thing. That’s ok – I can do that, when I’m not sick (though at the moment I feel like every time I start to exercise again, I get sick again… which takes me back to the health aspect again … *Sigh*).
Another thing I’d like to do is something creative. For a while I’ve wanted to get back into drawing, or take a class in photography or even painting. But doing any of these things means I have to face a whole bunch of other fears and insecurities and anxieties.
Odd as this sounds, I’m reminded of a scene from The West Wing. It’s the final season, penultimate episode, in which CJ is contemplating life after the White House. She has job offers coming out of her ears and is questioning her newly consummated relationship with Danny. At the end of the ep she tells him she isn’t sure she can do a relationship:
CJ: “This is who I am. I’m good at my job. I’m good at working….”
Danny: “We’ll figure it out. All of it…. I want you to do what you want…. I just want you to talk to me about it. I want us to talk about what it’ll mean and how we’ll make it work…. I want us to talk….”
CJ: “Franklin Hollis wants me to take $10 billion and go and fix the world.”
Danny: “That sounds like fun. Does that sound like fun to you?” She nods. “Do you want to work at the White House?” She shakes her head.
Obviously I’m no CJ, but there are some parallels here for me. Maybe she should join me in my therapist’s office? Or may be she too needs a little book Kate recommended – on which I shall pontificate next time… 😉