Will I ever get over all that heinous sh1t from the past, or will it follow me around all my life and continue to sneak up on me when I least expect or need it?

I’ve been bummed most of the day with thoughts of the past. I don’t think I’m dwelling on anything in particular. Just things that keep popping into my head. Like how I never had a decent father. Like how I don’t really know how to relate to people because of him. Like how I’m scared of most people and what they’ll do to me. Like how my mother is wasting her life with him and there’s not a damned thing I can do about it, though I somehow feel it’s all my fault. And like how I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be healed enough to live a “normal” life – whatever that is.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if I wasn’t here.


One thought on “Why?

  1. Hi Kerro,

    Yes not having to heal is easier. Not having you here is not easier for those who love you. And you are loved.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s