An alternative to food

Some of us use the Food Thing to bury emotional stuff. Some of us use (or have used) other things like shopping, cutting, drugs, alcohol, sex… they’re all the same. Or they serve the same purpose in our minds.

This week I got out of my hermit hole and went to the place most of you call “The Mall” where I indulged in a bit of retail therapy. It has the same effect on me emotionally as the Food Thing. In the early stages of therapy I used to go shopping after session…I can’t tell you how many DVDs, bits of makeup, clothes and even a digital camera I have from a post-therapy thrashing.

Here are the fruits of this week’s labours:

Shopping 

Sometimes I don’t understand… I go out for one thing, may be two, and come home with a bunch of stuff.

I did need the facial cleanser and the hand moisturiser and was hoping for a new pair of pants for work (coz some of the others are getting a bit tight, as embarrassing as that is). But as you can see I picked up a few other things as well.
 
Did I need the facial masque? Probably not, but that and my cleanser came with a $20 gift voucher I can use later on. I’m thinking of putting it towards a hot stone fusion massage… mmmmm. Bliss.

Did I need the mascara? No, but it was 20% off and I had a gift voucher, so it really only cost me $1.25. Cheapest mascara I’ve ever had (and one of the best)!

Did I need the books? Not really, but I finished the book I was reading this morning and the store had 40% off if you bought two. I really enjoyed The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga, so thought I’d try his second book (even if I believe that an author’s second book is never as good as his/her first). I also bought “French Women Don’t Get Fat” thinking perhaps I could write a quasi-sequel… “Yes, But Australian Women Do”. 😉

I certainly didn’t need the scarves, but I thought they were nice. The pink one will go nicely with the black cardigan I also didn’t need… and the spotted one? Well, I just thought that was cute.

I can’t really explain the makeup purse (I need another makeup purse like I need a hole in the head) or the lil cards with the birds on (though they reminded me of my friend over at Like a Bird on the Wire).

It was about at that point that I realised I probably should go home. The lunchtime crowds were starting to come out and the shopping centre was starting to fill up. I knew it was definitely time to go when I started having a panic attack. I’m not sure what brought it on, but I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

It’s been months since I indulged in any unnecessary shopping…I guess the Food Thing has been a substitute. Here’s hoping this is a sign the new meds are working…I’d rather be broke than fat any day.

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5 thoughts on “An alternative to food

  1. Those scarves are seriously cute, as are the cards. If the books aren’t worth keeping, you can always sell them or donate them to charity.

    I can relate to the line “I’d rather be broke than fat any day”… As with any coping mechanism, it’s about how it helps and how it hurts. Look at whether the shopping is out of hand within the context of your life. But be gentle on yourself, you’re making some big changes with the meds so give yourself time to adjust.

    I didn’t realise you were in Australia. If you did this retail therapy in Chadstone, I’m seriously jealous 🙂 You do realise that the only reason for the Earthquakes over here is so that New Zealand is closer to Chadstone don’t you?

    Take care

  2. @ CG, I hate to tell you this, but yes, the therapy took place at Chadstone. What I don’t understand is why anyone would want Chadstone when they have Wellington??? 🙂

    As for preferring broke over fat… I would prefer almost anything to fat. Anything. I even once said I’d rather get lung cancer than be fat. How FITH is that?

  3. Hi Kerro,

    French Women Get Fat On Meds, might be the rebuttal book. Some meds trigger weight gain, even without increasing eating.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

  4. Re: French Women Don’t Get Fat … my best friend lives in the south of France, and has lived in France on and off for years. We were talking about this phenomenon the other day, and he said,

    “French women don’t get fat for the same reason that women in New York don’t get fat … they live on cigarettes and coffee. All that stuff about lifestyle differences? It’s bullshit. The younger generation of French women who eat normally and don’t smoke … they look a lot more like your average American.”

    I thought that was interesting.

  5. Just wanted to drop you a note Kerro and thank you for your honesty surrounding the whole food issue. I have food issues too, that probably also stem from emotional issues. It’s nice to know that there are other people out there fighting the same battles.

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