Update on fathers and planes

A quick update on fathers and planes: I saw my father yesterday, and as usual he treated me like a doormat.

The difference this time was that I used back up therapist’s technique of preparing myself for it and I almost didn’t expect any different – almost.

He still triggered me and I didn’t quite get to the nurturing part afterwards, but fell back into old patterns of eating myself into oblivion.

I’m trying not to see this as a failure (as I would normally). I made a start. That’s progress. That’s one step more towards healing. Surely that’s all that counts, right?

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4 thoughts on “Update on fathers and planes

  1. Hi Kerro,

    How very brave of you.

    I don’t think you are giving yourself enough credit. Some survivors can’t ever step out of the childhood role. Some can’t ever think of any coping techniques. So what you did is a huge thing. Good for you.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

  2. Hey Kerro,
    The fact that you tried to used a coping skill and knew what to expect was HUGE! It will take some time to nurture yourself….god knows I am still trying. Just to make you smile, I took a tub bath last night….should be good right? I sat and thought about what a waste of time and how I should be doing something productive. I tried meditation, and just couldn’t ….so even the best of intentions, sometimes doesn’t get you there. Try and try again, as they say! Hang in girl!

  3. Kate – thank you. I know, I didn’t give myself enough credit. And now to someone who also needs to give themselves credit …

    Strangename – none of us is perfect. I think you did a great job soothing yourself in the bath and trying the meditation. The fact that you even tried is a positive step. Give yourself some credit.

    To both of you – yes, I know, I can hear the pots and kettles clanging too! LOL

  4. Hi Kerro,

    It is okay to say the obvious to someone else, even when you can’t do it yet for yourself. It is a great way to give to others what we can’t quite give to ourselves.

    Being gentle with the fact that you can’t is another way that we get to practice healing over and over.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

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