A big week

I’ve had a big week. I had my regular therapy session on Tuesday, followed by a consult with a psychiatrist on Thursday morning, and a double session with my therapist and my mother on Thursday afternoon. I was also scheduled to have surgery Friday morning, but one of the machines is broken so that’s been put off until Monday.

I was initially disappointed about the surgery delay, but now think it’s probably a good thing as I completely underestimated how stressful these few days would be. By Thursday morning, I was a complete mess and my anxiety was spiralling out of control. I managed to keep it together enough to get to my psychiatrist appointment. I’m glad I did.

He’s delightful. Warm, funny, sensitive – gentle but firm. The antithesis of Stone Therapist – thank goodness. I was very worried that if I didn’t like this guy, then it could only be because there’s something horribly wrong with me. (Funny, my therapist knew that’s what I would think.)

So, he did the usual history taking thing. At one point he said that it’s unusual for someone like me not to be in a relationship because I’m so attractive (he might have said pretty, I can’t remember). I found that hugely embarrassing because that’s sooooo not how I see myself. I also thought it an odd thing for a shrink to say to a new patient, but I don’t think he meant anything sordid by it.

The main point of me seeing him was to have medication reviewed and as a “back up” to my current therapist. He said he wants to get to know me better so he can do that. He also said he’d like to find a way for him and my therapist to work together with me, which I just think is so fantastic! The thought that I could get something useful from each of them hadn’t occurred to me, but I like the idea. (Well, the part of me that always wants to run to the end likes the idea. More therapy = better faster, right?)

At the end of the session we did a little “activity” – you can even try this at home. He made me cross my arms, thinking about how it felt. Then to cross them the other way, thinking about how it felt – Was it hard? Did I have to think about it? Did I feel ridiculous? Awkward? Uncomfortable? Yes, all of those things. We did it again three more times.

The lesson?

Doing things differently takes time and effort. But with that time and effort comes a level of comfort. Over time, these new ways of doing things might even come to feel “natural”.



4 thoughts on “A big week

  1. Pingback: Update on psychiatrist consult « Kerro’s Korner

  2. Pingback: More on p-doc « Kerro’s Korner

  3. Hi,

    I will say this about my own life, when someone in a professional capacity says something about my looks or something of a sexual nature, I run. They don’t have good boundaries and survivors need and deserve a healer who has good boundaries, someone who knows how to build trust over time with a client. Just my take.

    I read these three posts in reverse order. I am the most angry after reading your second post. But through it all think this guy is a piece of excrement. Maybe that’s just me.


  4. Pingback: In which my faith is restored « Kerro’s Korner

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