My mother appears to be listening!

My mother rings me every Thursday night at 6:45pm. Sharp. If I’m not home she gives me until 7:30pm to return her call, then she rings me on the mobile. I could set my watch by these calls. They drive me nuts. The standard banter goes something like this:

Me: “Hello?”
Mum: “Hi, it’s me.”
Me: “Hello. How are you?”
Mum: “Fine, and you?”
Me: “Fine. What’s new?”
Mum: “Nothing. You?”
Me: “Nothing.”


Last week I was still with my therapist when she rang on the mobile (at 7:30pm on the knocker!) I checked to see who it was and told my therapist. We’ve talked about the monotony of these phone calls before, so we both laughed. Then my therapist said “Tell her I said hi”. Oh my god, too funny! Of course, I just had to do that. My mother was quite literally speechless. It still makes me laugh, it’s just too too funny.

Anyway, the point of this update is to let you all know that my mother now appears to be listening to me. This week she asked how I am (beyond the standard banter). She also asked if I’m still seeing my therapist, if I’m getting better and what my therapist says about my progress. Of course these questions feel like the quintessentially stupid questions asked of people with ill health: “are you better yet?”, but they’re something.

I find all this a bit confronting and scary. I’m not used to engaging with my mother on anything other than a superficial level so am freezing up completely when she starts poking around.

I’ll give her some credit for trying though, and will talk to my therapist about my own deficiencies in this situation.


4 thoughts on “Newsflash

  1. Yes, she does seem to be trying, albeit awkwardly. I don’t think you can expect yourself to trust her level of caring right away, and maybe not for a long time. She’s in a real trust deficit with you, and I think it’s OK for you to be wary, and even to be annoyed.

  2. @ David, I can’t thank you enough for your insight. You’re right – I don’t trust her. Read today’s post and you’ll see why that lack of trust may be justified. *sigh*

  3. @ Sanity, yes it was recently. There’s some info in my earlier post “Life’s Twists and Turns – Part 1“.

    Basically I just came out and told her. In a way it was easy. Wait, no it wasn’t, but because I had the appointment with my therapist all teed up I couldn’t really wriggle out of it. I’d mentioned that we had to be around for “an appointment” – then when we got down to it I just said “Mum, I’ve been seeing a psychologist. I’ve got depression.” I didn’t go into a lot of detail about diagnonsenses, but I did say why I’m seeing my therapist.

    Are you thinking of telling your family, Sanity?

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